Happy 25? Or just another 25?

It seems so unreal to me that I am officially 25 years old. It sounds old to me, but I'm sure there's many of you out there thinking that I still have a long way ahead of me. But well, what I'm trying to say here is that, I have a boring life already and I'm only just 25.

I feel weird writing out my thoughts now, as I'm trained for keeping weird thoughts out of people's way, from the moment I starts getting weird reactions from people each time I tried to pollute them with my weird-ish thinking. There could only be two logical possibilities, which is either 1) I do have weird thinking, or 2) They just can't be bothered with what I'm trying to fill them in with, 'cos life is miserable enough for them to absorb any more of my ranting.

The thing is, I think I found out the "secret" of being alive! Is that, there will never be any smooth sailing, and the sea will always be rocky and trying to drown you anytime. And to stay alive, you just have to keep fighting against it. And along the way, when your energy is down, you will start to recruit partner/friends so both of you won't feel as alone or fearful of what's going to hit you in the head. But the tricky thing is, everyone is so different that not every single one can match with one another. So, it's another rocky path (like the one I just trekked a while ago on Mount Batur, in which some might think it's easy 'cos they had overcome even worst path) where you will just have to keep your eyes closedopen to whoever that fills in the position of being your partnerfriend or whatever-so-you-called-it. And in all this 25 years I've been thinking what the hell am I living for? Why do things get fucked up again and again, and why do I have to fix things all the time, when is it even enough? It's always me who have to do all the dirty job. (And I bet people will start telling me that I am not alone at this point) And each time I just have to try to motivate myself, as it seems like there's hardly someone who could understand. So I am my own best friend? Trying to convince or fake myself into believing that things will be alright, and that the sea will be calm after each rocky storms. Am I pathetic or what? Or perhaps I'm just weird or over-reacting every time something just sparkles in the corrupted mind of mine.

I could be entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are.